I love my kids, everyone loves their kids. I would never be without them and I’m so glad I have them.
However…I do sometimes find myself lusting after my LBC (life before children). That precious time I had with my husband, just the two of us, when the world was our oyster. My first baby was born two days before our second wedding anniversary so we had some really special times together before the little ones came along.
We were both working and earning a decent amount of money that we could basically spend on whatever we wanted. We would take lots of spontaneous trips to Europe at the weekends and last minute dinners out in the evenings. It feels like such a treat to go on a date night now and be able to eat a meal without having to wolf it down because the kids aren’t behaving very nicely.
I remember that sometimes we would just stay up all night at the weekends, just because we could. We would eat and watch movies and talk, then just sleep in the next morning. Gosh, it was actual bliss.
We had some amazing European breaks and explored some really beautiful places. We hired bikes in Paris and cycled around the city like a couple of teenagers. I have a video of me recording myself and almost getting hit by a car and thinking it was really funny.
I have fond memories of our trip to Krakov where we had dinner in a traditional basement restaurant. It was so cosy and lovely, I could have stayed there forever.
Another time we went to Italy and wandered hand in hand around Venice, stopping at little cafes along the way to to sit and chat.
I MISS THESE TIMES! I have wonderful inlaws and have been lucky enough to get away a few times while they watch my children. It’s not the same though, I can’t properly relax. I’m always worrying about my kids in the back of my mind and wondering what they are up to. I get all of these irrational fears about my husband and I being killed in a plane crash and my children becoming orphans. It’s just impossible to switch off and enjoy things in quite the same way.
Some days are hard and I just really want my old life back. I do! Just for a little while. I wish I had appreciated it more and savoured the ‘me’ time. I never realised all of the emotional turmoil and worry that comes from having children. I’ll never relax again! Ha.